Have you ever felt frightened of you own power? Does getting close to people bring you closer to yourself? Is there times when you feel so completely alone?
I felt it necessary to write a short blog about my journey in the last couple weeks. All of these questions have come into my life and I wondered what it was that blocked me from truly tapping into my true self. The one I completely love with all my heart, soul and body.
I give credit to many people in my life, because it is through you that I have been able to see myself. My faults, my weaknesses and my strengths and virtues. I have built up walls that even myself has struggled with bringing down let alone the people who want to love me. For so long I have been frightened of my own power. My ability to make the ones I care about fall in love with me, to only find that their love is not healthy and serves neither of us. I know you know what I mean…That man or friend or child in your life that feeds you. They give you something, a power that you do not have yourself. Yet, we hang on to this power and we can either see it and deal with it, or we drag it out and it causes a wall to go up. A wall around our own hearts and it takes true self power to take that wall down and build up a foundation that everyone can stand on. One thing I have really embarked upon is how we are all equal. We all deserve self love, discipline, truth, joy, and the biggest baddest of em all….unconditional love. That’s a tough one…Unconditional love is getting further away from our grasps with all this technology, and social media, and the news and terrorists attacks and for crying out loud, the iPods, iPhone, computers and gaming systems. We have self taught ourselves “NEEDY LOVE” Something we all see when we give our power away. Needy love is not unconditional. We expect something back. That brings on assumptions and negative self talk like “he didn’t mean what he said, he really doesn’t love me” “I am not safe or happy” “I know she is just thinking of herself”
these are assumptions and they cause us to latch on to what we think “feels right”. However we have also come this far in our humanity to know that feelings are just there, they come and go..they are not our true selves.
When we can step back and finally look deep into ourselves and know what we need, that is where the power begins. You all have felt it. Sometimes it is easier to run. Power is power. It’s strong and so are YOU! This is the essence of unconditional love. Once you tap into your own power it’s easy to give it away without being needy. You have to much eventually. I read this book to my son recently about filling our buckets. In this book it talks about how we can dip into others buckets and how it won’t fill us. However if we give out our love with no expectations that is when we fill our own, theirs and they want to fill ours in return, and then we get an overflow. Power brings overflow. I encourage you to see your worth and your love and grab hold of your power so that we LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY!!
I went to a powerful festival over the summer of 2015 called the Goddess Fest. It literally changed my life and is still impacting me now. One of the things that stuck out to me was a workshop on relationships. Turning our perspectives around in relationships can bring us closer to ourselves. For instance, commitment is such a loaded word and many of us can not even commit to meditation daily or a physical workout daily let alone a loving compassionate relationship. Well one thing that was said by Momma Carina was this “I am committed to learning more about myself through you”. Saying this out loud with every relationship I have had since then has made me who I am now. Guess what??? I love me NOW!!! True love. I trust my choices on who I want to be with. I am worthy of the best. I create what I want. This is how being with others can help us. We see ourselves through them. Just like looking in a mirror….Next time you are with someone you care about…ask yourself “what do I love about this person? What do I dislike? and then my friend, LEARN! GROW! That is your mirror.
During this time of learning who I am, I have felt very alone. In fact transitions have taken place and new relationships have formed and then seemed as though they have withered away in the storms of life. I have moved a lot in my life and changing friends up is quite natural, and yet saddens me at the same time. The true relationships that offer unconditional love are the ones I unconditionally love! We all have our moments of loneliness. It creeps up real fast in the evenings when you are alone with your “screen” or in the morning with your negative self talk begins. You are not alone! I urge you to speak out loud empowering thoughts like, I am loving and lovable. I am safe and trusting. I am worthy. I am fulfilled. I am creating the life I want and one of my favorite mantras is “I have enough time to do everything I need to in the day and more”. It’s easy to run around like the white rabbit stressed about time. This does not serve you. Why worry. Focus on what you need to do and make it happen.
With that I leave you to empower yourself, grow and become unconditionally in love with yourself. You can and are changing your life and I can attest to this from my own experiences.
YES!!! Power of self can be frightening. Most importantly it is empowering! And it fills your bucket and others in your life to overflowing. Get close to one another so that you can see the mirror image of who you are and LOVE it! Yes, there are times when we are going to feel alone. This is the time you pull into yourself and do those things that make you feel good, saying those mantras out loud, meditation, exercise, or just holding someone. This is what my true self is falling in love with more and more. When I say things out loud like “I am creating the life I want” and “My body is beautiful the way it is right now and I will keep on giving my body what it needs”. I know now that my body believes everything I tell it…..My beliefs give me the life I want.
Move with Nikki 